Womanhood

Womanhood

There seems to be much confusion in the world about gender & what it means to be a woman. Here are some of my thoughts. I will preface my remarks with letting you know I am not a Dr. or a psychologist (though I have many friends & people I talk to tell me I should be... so I’m a self taught closet psychologist at best). But I also happen to be a female, from birth, through puberty and childbirth and now into middle age.

Before anyone tries to redefine what a female is... this is the definition- 
fe·male

ˈfēˌmāl/

adjective

1. 1. 

   of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) that can be fertilized by male gametes.

We see in the world that people think they can just change their gender because they ‘feel’ like they should, they feel weird in their body. Having a body is an adjustment for all of us when we are born and some are more comfortable in theirs than others... but I am going to try to explain how it is impossible to change into a woman, for real. I know very little other than my familial and friendship relationships with men about what it means or feels like to be a man, so I will leave that up to someone else. 

First- the only change a male can make to try to remold themselves into a woman is superficially. Change their hair, put some makeup on, get a mani pedi, or if you’re as wealthy as Bruce Jenner is you can have yourself sculpted into a very close representation of a woman that can fool most people you may meet on the street who have never heard of you, and they would never know the difference. But what they may fail to realize is that this behavior even when performed by women is NOT what makes a woman a woman, its all smoke and mirrors. It’s all used to seduce or manipulate our senses and distract us from what is behind the mask. 

I am a very visual person so I understand the power that images have on us. Truth is anyone will look good with a little paint on.... and of course... good lighting and flattering angles (that’s the photographer in me speaking:)) 

But what about the argument ‘but I feel like a woman’... What does that mean? how can you possibly know what it means to feel like a woman? You like pink? dresses? pretty things? or men? Sorry, nope, that doesn’t make you a woman either.

It doesn’t seem right to be able to simply change your appearance, take some hormones and say I am now one of the girls, because the truth is there are things you can NEVER change, never experience, and never be able to relate to another woman about. 

There’s a monthly cycle that throws your body and emotions into a tailspin and turns your body inside out. (THAT is part of what it means to be a woman) why anyone would want to do that to themselves.. I don’t know. But to trying to be part of the club and not having to deal with that, just doesn’t seem right.

Then theres the whole point of what that cycle is for. To create life with a male partner. That is part of what it means to be a woman. People can deny it & avoid it but it is there- every month reminding you.. unless you have used drugs to mask it, deny it, avoid it & make it go away... but it still an inherent part of what makes one a female. 

Next is pregnancy, the amazing miracle that occurs from the union of a male and female together. To feel life growing in you. Some woman have easy pregnancies and other make HUGE sacrifices through sickness and bed rest for 9 months so their babies can be born. Not to mention childbirth, even there, women try to numb themselves from the experience, but it is a natural occurrence all over the world even where they have no drugs or sterile environments. Real women are experiencing it every day. Try that experience on an see if you want to be a woman. I don’t think we get to pick and choose what part of a gender we want to be? It’s not pretty & we don’t do it wearing high heels... But it is a miracle and a gift and why we are all here... unless you came from a petri dish, which I know is the wave of the future...

Then there is the miracle of mothers milk, you can never experience how your body makes exactly what your child needs for the first year of their life and the oxytocin that comes from the shared experience between you and your child. 

Before and after children are born women are driven to nurture beautify and heal, it is inherent in who they are. Those qualities create strong foundations for homes and families.

The substance of a woman comes from what she creates, gives, how she loves, how she heals and teaches (these characteristics ARE gender neutral, you don’t have to become a woman to do them...)

The question is can we see past the mask, do we want to see past the mask or are we just happy living in an imaginary reality. 

I haven’t mentioned God yet because even the mention of his name will get people defensive, but to me His breath and creation flows through everything that I have mentioned. It is a miracle to be a woman, that comes with unique challenges, experiences and opportunities that cannot be fabricated, to do so dilutes the very essence of womanhood... Womanhood and Motherhood are inseparably connected.